Earlier today I overheard a conversation between two “round” girls eager to outdo one another in bragging about how little they need to feel satiated and how much they love working out. I was naturally very jealous, as I was hungry enough to eat a horse and certainly had no intentions to exercise.
“You know the crackers that come with the soup?” asked the obese one rhetorically, as she turned to her friend, her fat shifting positions, pinched by her pants. “I can never have them with my soup. I just can’t eat that much.” (wow, lucky bitch, I can eat my soup, my crackers, and your sandwich)
“Oh yeah,” answered her moderately overweight friend. “I rarely eat them. Maybe as a snack, later in the day.”
Pause; they both reach into their respective Doritos bags and shove a handful of orange deliciousness in their cavernous mouths.
“Yeah…” continues her friend, clearly exhausted by managing multiple activities (eating, breathing and speaking). “I was supposed to run this morning, but it was cold. I usually run 5 times a week.”
“Me too. I run at least 6, usually 7.”
God willing I can lose a few pounds and gain a fraction of their self-esteem.
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1 comment:
Exercises in self delusion burn a lot of calories. (I'm burning a lot of calories just by typing this!)
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