Perhaps it is marginally inappropriate to appear so self-centered at the dawn of what’s supposed to be the most selfless event of one’s life. Nonetheless, I’ve managed to do so with limited shame. And though I may be masking deeper fears, worries and substantiated and unsubstantiated neuroses about this little (well, not so little – it seems the father’s genes are no joke) fetus-soon-to-be-baby, I find it easier to deal with what’s happening to me here and now.
I am now in the last two (maybe less?) weeks of this process. Long gone is the pregnancy glow; it’s been replaced by a constantly runny nose, swollen extremities, including my head, and severe carpal tunnel. All I have to do to confirm that I am not looking my worst is go to sleep and wake up the next morning; for the past month each morning has been more traumatic than the previous. We have acquired a great full size mirror for the bathroom that is tilted ever so slightly… my husband noted that this really gives the illusion of being slimmer than one really is. That was a relatively neutral comment to make if you are talking to a normal person in normal circumstances. Though I had suspected this sneaky law of physics before, I had successfully managed to chase it away.
This week I started working from home. It’s been great! This arrangement affords me the unbelievable luxury to step outside on lunch break. I dedicated yesterday’s lunch break to visiting the cleaners. I should note here that I take great pleasure in knowing store/restaurant owners and staff. I almost openly enjoy being known by my name, having the street cart coffee guy know how I like my coffee, etc..etc.. Lame? You bet, but at least I am honest. Well, the cleaners is owned by a super nice lady, Julie. Julie does a good job dry cleaning my clothes and even a better job knowing my name though I almost never come in. Yesterday, as I came in, Julie looked at me, paused for a second and said…”Are you Polina???” No, Julie, I am a beached whale who ate Polina. Julie reached over the counter and rubbed my belly for good luck. Thank you, Julie, thank you.
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1 comment:
Hey There Mama Whale,
I have a don’t you worry list for you:
Don’t you worry #1- Suppose you ARE a Whale! A Blue kind, then you are still very far from being very pregnant, as you still need to put on around 150 ton (so don’t you worry)
Don’t you worry #2–Expect to give birth now and expect to give birth later - to one “calf” every two-to-three years – and that is much less than an average, good, Homo sapiens Jew does (so don’t you worry)
Don’t you worry #3 – Blue whales are currently an endangered species – so your “calfs” have prospects of Harvard and Yale education, as these and many other schools are for endangered species only (so don’t you worry)
Don’t you worry #4 – I Love Blue Whales, and I’m Sure Your Husband Does as Well!
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