So Long, Fuckers!

I am writing this entry a bit prematurely; I am still a week away from graduating with an invaluable degree. I did, however, get a reassuring email from the degree auditor advising me that unless I piss off my professors and manage to fail my current classes, I will be a lucky recipient of a diploma. I want to make sure I capture the excitement of the moment, as I will undoubtedly lose steam once the day is actually here.

Here are just a few things/people I’d like to bid farewell to:

• Farewell douchebag instructors who insist on being called “professors” but don’t hold the necessary PhD degrees!
• Farewell annoying guy who matches his yarmulke and iPhone skin with his polo (the color of the day is lime green)!
• Farewell perpetually broken escalators and elevators – I still like the choice of “getting the exercise” to be mine!
• Farewell textbook mafia – I managed to get through grad school without buying one (doesn’t say much about me or the school, I know…)!

As I am sitting in this painful lecture, I find myself fantasizing about all the wonderful, intellectually stimulating things I will do with the two nights of my week I get to reclaim. In actuality, I may end up watching some mind numbing reality TV…but I will be watching it with a critical eye of a graduate degree holder.